Posts Tagged ‘depression’

Darkness

I wakeup for work
late in the day,
where even in these
days of lengthened daylight
only a few hours remain
before the dark of night.

Outside my window,
where I look
from my seat
when I work,
I cannot see the sun
during the daylight hours,
though the trees that
block my view.

I can tell when it's cloudy
and gray -
when the sun
has been hidden more completely.

From this perspective
darkness is what predominates

This is how everything seems
to me
but perhaps it is a matter of
perspective
and belief.

Perhaps this is why
I sleep all day
knowing only darkness.

It just seems appropriate
that in my despair and depression
I only see darkness.

By Bruce Whealton April 24th 2009

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Good Friday! Or Friday Bloody Friday!

call it Dark Friday or
Bloody Friday.
That works better for me...
They call it Good Friday -
for us Christians.
How good was it for
Jesus the Christ?

At least for me, I
wasn't hung on a Cross
on this day...
but I've been a bit mad
and depressed.

I feel for Jesus – crucified -
And find nothing 'holy'
about this good friday!

Where was his father
while he was being beaten?
If he was so special why
stand by and do nothing?

God should have rained
down fire and coal
and burned those who
would harm his precious
son!... if he was special.

How special must he have
felt when they put a thorn on his
head, stripped him of his clothing
and whipped him?

How special did he feel
when they nailed him to a cross
and left him to bleed
to death.

I couldn't help feeling
this way each time I heard
Father talk about how
“holy” and “special” this week
is to be for us.

What am I to make of this?
Nothing makes much sense.
“Jesus knew suffering” they say.
And I want to shoot back -
“yes, because that's the way
an omnipotent God treats
his son.”

I'm sorry.
I want to believe
but all I feel is
anger
and depression
abandonment
and confusion.

But I bring this to God
and say, “It makes no sense!”

And it is no comfort -
though it should be -
that on this “Good Friday”
I was not nailed to a cross,
myself.

By Bruce Whealton April 11th 2009

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