Bruce Whealton: Existential Writing

Ana Ribeiro, fellow poet and friend from Wilmington, NC wrote on her blog a nice poem for Easter … about walking around the river walk that overlooks the Cape Fear River, being alone and just noticing things. “Easter in Wilmington,” by Ana Ribeiro is here. Having lived for many years in Wilmington, this poem brought me back there in the reading of it. I was there when I read the poem… hearing the river move against the shore… feeling reflective… noticing things… writing about what I see.

Today was a nice Easter day. I spent time with friends from my church, after attending the 3 hour long Mass last night. Then I went to the Weaver Street Market area, a hang-out in Carrboro. I thought I’d sit outside, enjoy the warmth (temps were in the 80s today). I had brought two poetry collections, one by Anne Sexton (her complete poems) and one by Sylvia Plath (her complete poems). I don’t know why I decided on those two collections, as I wasn’t in a depressive mood – those two poets clearly had a thing for depression or with depression. Anyway, I thought it would lead to some inspiration. I sometimes feel like I have something to write, something to share, but need something, some inspiration to get it out.

I actually didn’t get to reading much. I spent the early evening hours editing some poetry by my friend Ryan. He had asked me to edit a couple collections of his and this is the first of two. I’m amazed at how long this is taking me, though. I’m not even halfway though. I guess I want to be thorough and feel like my name will be connected with this in some way.

Anyway, I guess I also wanted to meet people in this town. Perhaps being on the computer isn’t the best way to do that. I only got people asking me, “Is this chair free?” To which, I’d respond, “of course, it is, I’m alone.” I think if you spend time reading something or writing… or just sitting somewhere with pencil and paper, that inspires more conversations or makes it more likely that someone will make conversation. I remember last year, at Wrightsville Beach, doing some writing and having someone at one point ask if I was an artist. Now, come to think of it, maybe having one’s head in a book wouldn’t make one look open to conversation. I think a book of poems will make one less likely to look lost in one’s own world.

I don’t know… when I do get in moods like this, and have that feeling that there is something I need to write, I tend to read a poem, then look up, look around, notice things. Even when I write about something I might notice outside, at this location here in Carrboro, or at the beach, if I were to go to the beach … something that catches my eye, inspires me, I think this could be an expression of something from my subconscious… something that was telling me I need to write, even before I knew what I wanted to write. I mean if I go to the beach and write about things that inspire me once I get there, I have known times when I felt like I had satisfied that desire within me, that had expressed itself before I even got to the beach. Maybe I need an editor for this to see if I’m making any sense here.

Nothing inspired me, and I didn’t have that spirit that Ana had, as she expresses in her blog posting. Maybe I needed to just spend more time observing and writing. Maybe I need to do so… maybe it is healthy, cathartic or something like that. Maybe it becomes a need for folks, like us.