Revision suggested by Jean Jones…

The Hanged Man

I am the hanged man
a noose around my neck
swinging back and forth
back and forth
like the hands on a grandfather's clock
tick tock
tick tock
dangling somewhere
between
earth and hell...

I am death itself.

Some say suffering
is optional
but I think
it is more a matter
of fate...

Perhaps,
I'm paying the price
in some reincarnated life
of some past
sins
which I cannot
recall.

Perhaps that is why

Suffering
is just a matter of degrees
in this reincarnated life
among several
reincarnated lives
all leading toward
some final
place in heaven. . .

Nothing else
makes much sense
about this existence...

by Bruce Whealton

Ok, I had to make a few edits. Let me know what you think.
Bruce

The Hanged Man Pleads

So if I were to die
a thousand deaths
and suffer for a thousand years
and bathe your feet
in my tears
would you then
look upon me?
Would you see me?
Would there be any chance
that you could forgive me?

I'd gladly die
those one thousand deaths
and give up all else -
all of myself
just to look into your
eyes
and know
you are looking into mine.

By Bruce Whealton
revised 8/07/09

In a painting by Salvador Dali, by the same name, The Hanged Man, a man hangs upside down from a living tree. The tarot card by the same name depicts a man hanging from a living tree over the earth but the card may be viewed either way. So, is the world upside down or does the man hang upside down over the earth.

The Hanged Man

I am the hanged man
with a noose around my neck
nailed to a cross
swinging back and forth
back and forth
like the hands on a grandfather's clock
tick tock
tick tock
dangling somewhere
between
earth and hell...

I am death itself.

Some say suffering
is optional
but I think
it is more a matter
of fate...

Perhaps,
I'm paying the price
in some reincarnated life
of some past
sins
which I cannot
recall.

Perhaps that is why
nothing else
makes much sense
about this existence...

Suffering
is just a matter of degrees
in this reincarnated life
among several
reincarnated lives
all leading toward
some final
place in heaven.

by Bruce Whealton
July 31, 2009

Despair

Stop looking for meaning!
There is none.
Stop trying to understand!
there is nothing to understand.

Just imagine
like the artists do
and the writers
and poets.

We create things -
Realities
and pretend
there is meaning
What we understand
is of our own making.

by Bruce Whealton
July 30, 2009

This poem is somewhat inspired by some poetry by R. D. Laing. He was a psychiatrist who learned a great deal working with people with Schizophrenia but these experiences also helped him to develop insights into the psychology that is common to all human experiences. He incorporated Phenomenology into his studies, a Social Phenomenology. He spoke of experience as something unique to each individual. We can experience another person but we cannot experience what that person experiences. We can experience that person experiencing us and so on ad infinitum.

Narcissistic Knots

"Don't you ever do that
again!"

"What?  Tell me."

"I know you know
what you did."

"I say I do not."

"Do not what?"

"Do not know."

"I claim I know
what you know."

"I claim you cannot."

"There, you're doing it
again."

"What?"

We're playing a game,
a narcissistic game...
pretending we can
experience what the other
experiences,
unaware
that we only experience
the other
experiencing us.

poem by Bruce Whealton
July 30, 2009

This is somewhat of an early draft of a poem about pain, abandonment, isolation and despair… unbearable pain.

Tears of Blood

It took about
30 minutes for the tears
to start.

I came home
curled up
into a fetal position...
crying
tears and blood
draining from my eyes...

My God, my God
why have you abandoned me?
Why so utterly hide your face
from me?

I am your infant son,
craving your touch
- contact
Hold me close
O my God.

I know of no hope
yet I will still call
your name.

Were you there
when your son
Cried tears of blood?
In your book
it doesn't say.

Sometimes I think
even you abandon us
despite words to the contrary
in your book.

I pray to you
Because I am told
all things are possible
for God.
It says that in your book.

Show me!

By Bruce Whealton

Snake Phobia

I awake suddenly
and there’s this feeling
like a convication
that somewhere
in these rooms
is a snake

This is my fear
my nightmare.

What should I do?

Look? or stay frozen
motionless?

A nightmare
all too common
and the feeling of falling
and falling…

Part of my mind
says this isn’t possible
or logical
but the feeling
continues to linger
after the dream
fades.

Bruce Whealton
Written July 19, 2009

Don’t let it be just a dream

The dream's so similar,
that I know how it goes
with slight variations,
each time.

There's something almost lucid
about the dream.
I'm always asking,
pleading,
"don't let it be a dream."

We're together,
she and I,
Lynn, the one I've loved...
because that just makes sense
it's the way things
are supposed to be.

I'm thinking,
"Don't let this be
just a dream...
Don't let it be
just a dream."

It always ends
the same way.
I wake up
now so numb
from the same
stinging pain
that comes from the same dream
I've had over and over
and over again.

By Bruce Whealton
July 19, 2009

This one is another for my vampire collection. I had considered the idea of creating a few essays on the Philosophy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The vampire makes a good metaphor for both evil and the lack of a conscience. In this story line, the vampire, lacking a soul has no conscience and thus, while the vampire may look just like one’s friend or anyone else the vampire is not that person any longer. The vampire is a demon. There is the notion of the vampire with a soul in the story line or Buffyverse – but that’s a matter for another discussion.

So, in my life, and in some poems, I describe people who just happen to be vampires… persons with no conscience. I’ve known some folks like that. So, with that in mind, I offer this poem. I was going to add a disclaimer that I am speaking metaphorically with regard to vampires but I should think that was obvious.

Fantasy

I knew she was a vampire
yet I was drawn to her.
I wanted to believe
she was different.

She was powerful;
arms of steal
yet soft... slender
and, oh, yes, sexy.

She speaks to me,
saying,
“I know you both
desire me
and fear me...

You've been hurt.

Yet, I will continue
to speak to you.
I'll never leave you.

We have a bond
you know
and whenever you most
need me,
just listen
and you'll hear my voice...
	Forever.”

by Bruce Whealton
July 21, 2009